What’s with men’s grooming styles these days? Dudes wander around all dressed up in a suit and tie with a three-day growth of beard. Not an honest five o’clock shadow, but real stubble. What’s with that? Beards are OK, I’ve had several, and its understood that between clean-shaven and bearded there must be an interval of transition. And I have been known to forego shaving myself when I don’t leave the house, or when I don’t care if people see me grubby. Hell, sometimes I go for days without combing my hair. But when I want to be presentable, I go for the three S’s: shit, shower and shave. If I’m going to go to the trouble of putting on a clean shirt, I shave.
Something else. What’s with this new fashion of putting grease in your hair? Yeah, you can call it “mousse” if you want, but its still grease. I can’t imagine a woman wanting to rub her fingers through your hair if it was greasy, and especially if it was teased up into little spikes.
I remember the olden days, the Age of Brylcreem, when men slicked down their hair with handfuls of grease. The idea was that it would look wet–all the time. Check out an old movie, men sported shiny hair. Now it just looks creepy.
I remember my school bus in high school, where every window had a big oval greasy spot on it where guys had leaned up against it. We used to keep our crew cuts under control with little cylinders of waxy goop, like oversize chapstick containers. It wasn’t too bad when you applied the crew cut wax right out of the shower, but after an hour or two exposed to the elements your hair would attract little flakes of dandruff, pieces of skin, dirt, pollen, bugs (I lived in Florida) and other assorted googies and cooties.
It was disgusting. And when you ran a comb or brush through it, especially in hot weather, the teeth and bristles would get clogged with the stuff and it would have to be sterilized. And it wasn’t just the kids, either, grown men used this stuff. It was foul.
The Beatles put an end to that nonsense, hair got longer, but it was clean and dry–and the girls loved it. No wonder the greaseballs (straight dudes) hated us.
Well, the pendulum is swinging back. It must be a Tea Party thing.
“Brylcreem, a little dab’ll do ya.
Brylcreem, you’ll look so debonair.
Brylcreem, the gals will all pursue ya…
They’ll love to get their fingers in your hair!”