Zipping your file dir and doing a zip of an sql dump of your tables and then giving me a temp ssh login to a dir where you drop it? I seriously doubt I'd spend much more time on this than just scratching my curiosity, but it might be fun.
Actually, if I did anything, I'd probably just recurse the file tree and build some tables... So I don't even think a SQL dumpfile is necessary. Great thing about going form XML to a relational database is that XML and relational DBs is that the XML nearly always contain the relationships you want to model in table form anyway.
And if I did anything at all, it would be in Java, just to piss you off. With maybe a Flex interface, just to see veins pop out :-)
Oh, thats it. A flex interface to a Enterprise backend. Or maybe an applet (Snurk!)
Yeti